A blank page is a hard place to start parts work. You sit down knowing something is going on inside you, and what comes out is "today was fine, I guess." The prompts below are meant to get past that. They are written the way a good IFS therapist would ask them, in the order the work usually goes: notice a part, get to know it, understand what it is protecting, and only then, carefully, go near the pain underneath.
Use them in order, or skip straight to the section that matches where you are. You do not need to answer all of them. One prompt, answered honestly, is a full session.
Before you start: three things that make these work
Unblend first. Most journaling goes sideways because the part you are writing about is the one doing the writing. If you are in the middle of an angry spiral and you write "why am I like this," that is the angry part (or its critic) holding the pen. Take a minute to get some space before you answer anything. The Unblending Exercise takes five minutes and is built for this. A quick test: if you feel warmly toward the part, or at least curious about it, you have some space. If you feel disgust, dread, or the urge to fix it, another part has stepped in. Welcome that one too, and ask it to relax a little.
Write to the part, not about it. Where a prompt says "ask the part," try writing the question to it and then waiting for whatever answer shows up. It may come as words, an image, a body sensation, or nothing. All of those count. Do not edit the answer into something that sounds more reasonable.
Go slowly and stop when you need to. If you start to feel flooded, numb, or panicky, put the pen down. Ground yourself (5-4-3-2-1 Grounding is quick), and come back another day or take it to your therapist. Nothing in this list is worth more than your safety.
Section 1: Noticing and naming a part
Use these when you do not yet know which part is active. The goal is just to find it.
- What am I feeling right now, and where do I feel it in my body?
- If this feeling were a part of me, how old does it seem?
- What is the loudest voice in my head today? What is it saying, word for word?
- When did I last feel a sudden shift in mood today? What happened just before?
- Is there something I keep doing (or avoiding) that I do not fully understand? Who in me might be doing it?
- What do I want to call this part? (A working name is enough. "The one who checks my phone" is a valid name.)
- How do I feel toward this part right now? If the answer is anything other than curious, who is that feeling coming from?
- Where in or around my body does this part seem to be? Does it have a shape, color, or temperature?
If body awareness is hard for you, spend three minutes with the Somatic Check-In first. For a broader scan of who is around today, the Parts Check-In Meditation works well.
Section 2: Getting to know a manager
Managers are the proactive protectors: planning, controlling, pleasing, perfecting, criticizing, all so that nothing painful happens. (See managers, firefighters, and exiles for the full picture.) They tend to be articulate, so these conversations often go well.
- What is your job in my life? What do you do all day?
- How long have you been doing this job? Do you remember when you started?
- How old were you, and how old did you think I was, when you took it on?
- What are you afraid would happen if you stopped?
- What would you rather be doing, if you did not have to do this?
- Do you know how old I am now? What do you notice when you look at me?
- Is there anyone else inside you are working with, or against?
- What do you need from me so this job feels less heavy?
- What do you wish I understood about how hard you work?
For the inner critic specifically, the Inner Critic Dialogue walks through this conversation step by step.
Section 3: Getting to know a firefighter
Firefighters are the reactive protectors. They show up after pain has already been triggered and act fast to put it out: bingeing, scrolling, drinking, rage, shutting down, sometimes more serious things. These parts are often judged harshly, including by you. The tone that works here is the opposite of judgment.
- What just happened before you showed up?
- What were you trying to stop me from feeling?
- What does it feel like for you when you take over? Is there relief?
- What do you cost me, and do you know that? Can you tell me without me getting defensive?
- If you did not do this, what do you think would happen?
- Is there anything you would do instead if you trusted that the feeling was going to be taken care of?
- What do you need me to know about how urgent it feels?
- Is it okay if I get to know the part of me you are protecting, at your pace?
Note: if a firefighter's behavior is putting you in danger (self-harm, substance use you cannot control, thoughts of suicide), the right next step is a person, not a journal. Reach out to your therapist or a crisis line.
Section 4: Approaching an exile, carefully
Exiles carry the hurt, shame, fear, and loneliness that protectors work so hard to keep out of view. IFS practice is clear that you do not approach an exile without the protectors' permission. These prompts are about asking first, and about staying close to Self. If you have a trauma history, do this section with your therapist rather than alone.
- Is there a part of me that is worried about me getting near something painful? What does it need to hear?
- Do my protectors trust me enough to let me meet the part they are guarding? If not, what would help?
- If I could simply be with a younger, hurting part of me for two minutes, what do I imagine it would want?
- What does this part want me to know about what happened to it? (You do not have to write the whole story. A sentence is enough.)
- What does this part believe about itself because of that experience?
- What did it need back then that it did not get?
- Can I offer even a little of that now, from where I am sitting today?
- How do I feel toward this part right now? If it is pity, fear, or irritation, who is feeling that, and can they step back?
If at any point you feel overwhelmed, stop. Closing the notebook and doing something grounding is not failing at the work. It is what your protectors have been asking for.
Section 5: Checking in with Self
These are for the end of a session, or for a day when you want to find your footing before you start. In IFS, Self is not a part. It is the calm, curious presence underneath your parts, often described through the 8 Cs: calm, curiosity, compassion, clarity, confidence, courage, creativity, and connectedness.
- Right now, on a scale from blended to spacious, where am I? What would one step toward spacious look like?
- Which of the 8 Cs do I feel at least a little of right now? Where do I feel it?
- What am I curious about in my own experience that I have not yet asked?
- What would it be like to speak to a part the way a patient, steady friend would?
- Which of my parts needs to hear from me today, and what is the one sentence I would say to it?
- What did I learn about one of my parts today that I want to remember?
- Is there any part of me that did not like this exercise? What does it want to say?
The Self-Energy Meditation pairs well with this section if you want a few minutes of quiet before or after writing.
A worked example
Here is what one prompt can look like when answered. This is prompt 12 ("What are you afraid would happen if you stopped?"), written to a part this person calls the Planner.
Me: Planner, I know you are the one that rewrote tomorrow's schedule four times tonight. What are you afraid would happen if you stopped?
Planner: If I stop, something gets missed. And if something gets missed, someone is disappointed in you, and then you are the person who ruined it.
Me: Who is disappointed?
Planner: Honestly it looks like Dad. Or the idea of Dad. It is a very old picture.
Me: Thank you for telling me. I did not know that. How old do you think I am?
Planner: Nine or ten?
Me: I am thirty-eight. I wonder if there is someone younger underneath you who is scared of that picture.
Planner: Maybe. I do not want you to go there yet.
Me: Okay. We will not today. Thanks for telling me where you are at.
Notice what is not in there. There is no argument, no attempt to talk the Planner out of planning, no rush to the exile. The whole entry is about listening, and the Planner got to say something it has probably never been asked. That is often enough for one sitting.
Printing this list
If you would like to work from paper, print this page (the layout is set up to print cleanly) and cross off what you try. Keeping a few prompts folded in a notebook is a good way to have something to reach for when a part shows up at a bad time.
If you want something that asks the follow-up questions
Prompts are a good start, but the useful part of parts work is the follow-up. The Planner above said "Dad," and the natural next question depends on that exact answer. On paper, you have to come up with that question yourself, in the middle of a feeling.
That is the gap All My Parts is built for. You write or speak what is going on, it notices which part is talking, asks the follow-up questions, and keeps track of your parts between sessions so the Planner you met on Tuesday is still there on Friday. It is free to start, on the web or on your phone.
This is a self-guided reflective practice, not therapy or treatment, and it is not a substitute for working with a qualified professional. If something painful opens up, go slowly and reach out for support.